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BOSSMAN

SERIES number 2

Sunday, November 18, 2018

 

 

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BOSSMAN

Series number 1

Sunday, November 18, 2018

Duke SkorichI stole his post

The image was from Duke Skorich’s Post

November 15 at 8:42 AM

@realDonaldTrump this morning:

“The inner workings of the Mueller investigation are a total mess. They have found no collusion and have gone absolutely nuts. They are screaming and shouting at people, horribly threatening them to come up with the answers they want. They are a disgrace to our Nation and don’t care how many lives the ruin. These are Angry People, including the highly conflicted Bob Mueller, who worked for Obama for 8 years. They won’t even look at all of the bad acts and crimes on the other side. A TOTAL WITCH HUNT LIKE NO OTHER IN AMERICAN HISTORY!”

Robert Mueller did not work for Obama for 8 years. He ran the FBI under George W Bush for nearly 8 years. He remained FBI Director under Obama for 4 years, confirmed to extend his 10-year term by a Senate vote of 100-0.

Trump the asshole Facebook Image by Fake President

After last week do you understand the road we are going down?

All available air is being sucked out of our consciousness and we are not paying to the REAL TRUMP!

All available airtime is being sucked up by trump and his trumpbutts. (Did you notice how I slide part of the title of my blog in here?)

All available funds will be sucked up to fund the wall & the deficit.

There will be no funds for banks to lend to businesses.

Social Security and Medicare will be robbed to fund the government since that money will be going to pay for the WALL, the MILITARY BUILDUP, the NEW SPACE FORCE, funds like the BAILOUT of industries decimated from the TRADE WAR.

PLEASE BE MINDFUL OF THE GOVERNMENT PRINTING MORE MONEY TO COVER THE DISAPPEARANCE IF LIQUID CASH – THIS CAN ONLY LEAD TO HYPERINFLATION.

Oh, and have a nice day.

Facebook Post Image by ??
Facebook Post Image by ??

The fascist government now being built will soon take possession.

The Democrats will fight these expenditures and when the two heads collide the MILITARY WILL BE ORDERED TO Take OVER PEACE-TIME DUTIES (because nobody stopped the deployment of active military to the southern border more and more active duty troops will be deployed to quell internal unrest).

Did I recommend that you have a good day? My, my I am getting forgetful?

By the way, that is the format for the coming fascist takeover.

Little by little these will come to pass.

Little by little the alarm bells will be quieter and quieter.

Little by little they will be rung with less and less frequency.

One morning you will wake up and your coffee will be very bitter.

Meantime rake more weeds to stop forest fires!

 

Just for chuckles, I copied the first headlines I read on Facebook Posts this fine Sunday morning.

WASHINGTONPOST.COM

GOP senator: It’s a ‘great idea’ to make it harder for ‘liberal folks’ to vote

##############

MSNBC.COM|BY STEVE BENEN

In non-satirical piece, McConnell stresses virtues of bipartisanship

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WASHINGTONPOST.COM

GOP senator: It’s a ‘great idea’ to make it harder for ‘liberal folks’ to vote

##############

INDEPENDENT.CO.UK

San Francisco to clear all marijuana misdemeanor convictions dating to 1975

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SHAREBLUE.COM

Trump plots to cancel research into curing diseases like Alzheimer’s

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BBC.COM

US election turnout highest for 104 years

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YAHOO.COM

Kentucky Gov. Matt Bevin says bloodshed may be needed to protect conservatism

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NEWS.VICE.COM

Trump pretty much just admitted that he picked Whitaker to kill Mueller’s probe

##############

SFCHRONICLE.COM

More than 14,000 immigrant children are in U.S. custody, an all-time high

##############

Before I continue leading you down the “primrose path”

primrose path
phrase of primrose
the pursuit of pleasure, especially when it is seen to bring disastrous consequences.
“unaware of his doom, he continued down his primrose path”
I included the definition of ‘primrose path’ so you can not accuse me of leading you astray.
One more thing before I continue. I need to define the term “BOSSMAN” in the title of this post.

BOSSMAN – Urban Dictionary.com

But you need the full flavor of the definition to appreciate it’s meaning:
TOP DEFINITION
A term used to describe a man, precisely God (a.k.a. Negusflex), that commands raids on various media pages. These raids can be observed on Instagram, Youtube, Twitch and other platforms.
Who are we raiding today? I don’t know, let’s see what bossman says.
by dwizzle25 July 19, 2018
Get the mug
Get a Bossman mug for your papa Trump

FOLKS I AM NOT MAKING THIS STUFF UP!

That is the problem. Nobody is taking any of the things that Trump does as weird, nasty, unseemly, corrupt, sadistic, mean, violent, crazy, demented.

BUT EVERYBODY IS WRONG!

Did you happen to see Fareed Zacharias this morning? His GPS program focused on the trade program or its lack by trump.

 

 

You must watch the third one if nothing else you do today

 

To review:

1: Bossman is positioning the United States to live WITHOUT CHINA.

I forecast that China can get along without the United States. The United States      CANNOT get along WITHOUT CHINA.

2: Bossman is positioning the United States for a medical meltdown. 

The FLU in 2017 killed 80,000 people in the United States

The FLU in 2018 killed 80,000 people in the United States

3:  Bossman is saying that FLU shots are a scam

I forecast his position should kill more trumpbutts than Non-Bossman supporters

Trump is telling his people that Flu Shots are a scam Facebook Post

4:  Bossman appointed a new Director of the CDC

I forecast that more trumpbutts will die because this director will reinforce trump’s position on FLU shots.

I forecast that more LGBT people will die because of this director.

 

New Director of the CDC Facebook Post

5: Bossman is going to spend massive amounts of dollars on his pet projects: The Wall; The Space Force; The Military Buildup; the Bailouts he will finance due to his Trade War with China.

I forecast that he and the trump party will drain Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid

6: Bossman will harass journalists and people representing us in the House of Representatives.

I forecast that this harassment will begin to have a deleterious effect on the work of the Fourth Estate and the Congresspeople.

You can hold my feet to the fire but I will stick with my forecasts.

I have been correct in the broad strokes of my pen since I starting harping on our fascist leader back in May 2016 BEFORE he really got cooking.

My concern back then was that he and Bannon would wreck our country.

I believe that Bannon is still in the background running the strategies that Bossman executes.

I forecast that Bossman will continue to crank up his vicious attack on the consciousness of the United States.

I forecast that trump and his trumpbutts will get even more vicious on the attacks of ordinary citizens. I site Joe Biden getting a German Sheperd. Why?

Is Bossman going to send any assistance to California to help with the recovering from the fires?

I doubt it since the outgoing and incoming governors are Democrats and many newly elected representatives are Democrats.

I have so much to add but I should start another post. This one has gotten too long.

 

Trump and Moussilini Image from Google Images
Mussolini and morphing of Bossman’s face – Google Images

Thank you for stopping!

Craig

db284-red2brose2bsvetlana-manic-674670-unsplash

 

 

 

 

U.S.Veterans are Always at the Short End

10/15/18

968 words 4 minutes 32 seconds

As the title warns, this post is an acknowledgment that U.S. Veterans are always getting the short end of the stick. (Also please check: dav.org for info on Disabled Veterans.)

Don’t get me wrong. I am personally not knocking the care I receive at the VA Outpatient Clinic in Superior WI and the Minneapolis VA Medical Center in Minneapolis.

Far from it.

The care is almost identical to what I received in a civilian clinic.

A few of the difference are the wait times for resolution of questions and freedom of choice at all times.

Sometimes I think I am trying to move an immovable boulder.

Specifically, to mention what they do right: I haven’t met any service provider that doesn’t greet me with a smile; moving veterans around the clinics is an impressive choreagraphy; medicines are almost affordable even on a very miniscule budget; medical needs which need to be met outside the VA Healthcare System are available.

The VA puts out several newsletters each month advising of programs that are available.

They broadcast coming improvements to the delivery system early and often.

VA Healthcare

Just a short familiarization with theVA Health Care System.

The VA is the largest integrated health care system in the country.

It provides care at 1,243 health care facilities, including 172 medical centers and 1,062 outpatient sites.

The facilities serve over 9 MILLION Veterans each year.

The portal  for Mo’s Heroes Shopping.

Information on information on Mo’s Heroes and the services they offer

Mission Statement

The mission of Mo’s Heroes is to provide services to assist in reintegrating homeless veterans into meaningful employment within the labor force, and to stimulate developing effective service and delivery systems that will address the complex problems facing homeless veterans.

Images by Sgt. Matthew Callahan USMC

Stolen from Business insider

A US Marine Corps photograph  recently took some portraits of Marines assigned to the Bataan Amphibious Ready Group.

The Bataan Amphibious Ready Group “supports maritime security operations, provides crisis response capability, and increases theater security cooperation while providing a forward naval presence in Europe and the Middle East,” according to the Navy.

The photographer, Sgt. Matthew Callahan took portraits of Marines assigned to the 24th Marine Expeditionary Unit in Kuwait and in Romania. He also took pictures of the Marines’ Romanian counterparts with whom they were training.

There are many pictures some of which may interest you. It only takes a few minutes to flip through them.

SCOPE OF THE MARKETPLACE

US military forces deployed overseas

As listed in a project by Kristen Bialik of PEW RESEARCH.org.

The number of military overseas is about 200,000. The total military strength is about 1.3 million troops with 800 military bases in place around the world.

Profile of the U.S. Military in United States history

The biggest issues facing VA according to the July 23 issue of Military Times and awaiting the arrival of duties by the new VA Administrator, Robert Wilkie  are:

> The budget fight which is an ongoing issue.

> The Community Care Overhaul is going to be a real dragon by its tail fight.

> The privatization of the VA Healthcare system will be a post of mine once a little dust settles.

> The next major issue is modernizing the medical records of the care recipients.

Personal Priorities

If I they allowed me throw my hat into the catfight, I would designate Veteran’s Homelessness and Suicide Prevention of even more importance.

Quick Overview: The biggest group of soldier suicides comes from older vets, aged 50 and above.

They’re mostly living in the western part of the USA. They are the more likely to commit suicide due to PTSD and poor VA assistance.

They have little money to pay for their own funerals or have VA benefits to cover it, which is what Once a Soldier is all about.

The raw statistics of these two areas of Veteran’s care:

Every day   22 Veterans are killed by suicide.

There are over 50,000 homeless veteran’s living on the streets of American.

Both of these topics deserve research and a post of their own. I am working on them now.

One last parting comment on suicides by veterans:

The risk of suicide among veterans is 22 percent higher than non-veteran adults.

The statistic that I didn’t know was that in 2014 approximately 65 percent of Veterans that died by suicide were age 50 or older!

According to Once a Soldier, of the 20 suicides a day by Veterans, 14 are not under VA care.

Think of what the rate would be if the VA wasn’t around with its very aggressive suicide prevention programs.

Another Poke in the Eye

“I knew something was not right,”

These were the words of radiology technologist Jeff Dettbarn.

A patient arrived in February 2017 for a CT scan, but the doctor’s order for it had been canceled.

Mr. Dettbarn told of his finding to USA TODAY.

He started collecting cancellation notices for a diagnostic procedure such as CT scans, MRIs and ultra sounds.

“None of these cancellations had been cancelled by a doctor.”

The VA inspector general, Michael Missal is auditing mass cancellations at eight VA medical centers. He is trying “to determine whether VA processed radiology requests in a timely manner and appropriately manage canceled requests.

More on this as it develops.

A Nod to the Military

 

A PEW Research  study reported on Sept 4, 2018, revealed that large majorities in eight Western European countries and said they trust the military more than other institutions.

In a study reported on April 26, 2018, 80% of Americans said they “have confidence that the military will act in the best interests of the public”.

 

majority of American have confidence in the military PEW research

Banks, financial institutions, the news media, elected officials fared much lower in the rankings.

Another grave concern is how the complexion of the Veterans are changing.changing profile of the US Veteran PEW Research

 

Future posts will focus on the privatization of the VA Healthcare, the support services that are available to Veterans, the support services that are available to those people that provide care for Veterans.

Thanks for stopping.

Craig

db284-red2brose2bsvetlana-manic-674670-unsplash

Anger not Mental Illness Kills People

954 Words, 3 minute, 47 sec read

18 August 2018

This is a continuation of my post on ‘Anger Not Mental Illness’.

Something went awry since the post was about a paragraph long.

So if you read that post I am sure you were disappointed. I will delete it and start anew.

anger-causes-violence_-treat-it-rather-than-mental-illness-to-stop-mass-murder_-image-optimized

Pictured above is Spec. Ivan Lopez in his helicopter in the Sinai Peninsula during his service with the 295th Infantry of the Puerto Rico National Guard.

Spec. Lopez is suspected of fatally shooting three people before killing himself at the Fort Hood Army Base in Texas on April 2, 2014.

The accounts of what lead up to the shooting spree that killed the innocent people vary.

The Guardian January 23, 2015, reports that Specialist Lopez two parents had died shortly before the shootings.

The military relied heavily on personnel to ‘self-report’ on their conditions.

The self-reporting of personal issues did not work because Spec Lopez did report to his supervisors about his depression, although he was undergoing treatment for the depression.

Other factors may have played a part as well. Spec Lopez, in conversations, said he had injured himself in combat in Iraq.

There was no proof of that claim.

However, whatever system there was to monitor Spec Lopez it didn’t work.

He had an argument with his supervisor about the leave he was expecting and when it was denied ‘blew up’.

He traveled two blocks and killed three people including himself.

According to the Washington Post, he pulled out his private 45 caliber pistol, shot up the office of the 49th Transportation Battalion wounding two soldiers.

Before killing himself, he killed three people and wounded 12 others.

The question is:

Did his mental state, i.e. depression cause him to set off this horrible attack?

The NRA has been foisting this theory on people at every chance it can.

‘Mentally ill people are the mass murders.’

Psychologist Laura L. Hayes disagrees.

She states this “relatively weak connection between mental illness and mass shootings,” does not override another position.

She states that “the connection between the inability to manage anger and violence,” is a stronger motivation.”

We have to look back to the 1980s for answers.

The 1980s were a time of massive deinstitutionalization of the mentally ill.

She was working toward her degree in clinical psychology and was training at a psychiatric hospital in Washington D.C.

She relates “one small, diminutive, the elderly patient sometimes wandered the halls.”

“She had been committed to the hospital after she stabbed someone in a supermarket.”

She was what is sometimes referred to as a revolving-patient: She was schizophrenic and heard frightening voices in her head.

When she became psychotic enough, she would be hospitalized, stabilized on medication, and then released back to the community.

There she would go off her medication, become psychotic, be re-hospitalized, stabilized again on medication, released, etc.”

In 1955 deinstitutionalization began.In 1955 deinstitutionalization began.

It was the result of the introduction of the drug Thorazine. This was the first effective antipsychotic drug.

The abbreviated version is that in 1955 the total population was164 million people.

Of those 558,239 were hospitalized as mentally ill.

By 1994 the hospitalized population was 71,619. The true magnitude of the issue was that if the portion of the population in 1994 was equal to that of 1955, 885,010 people should have been hospitalized.

How many were hospitalized? 71,619.

Does that point to a problem?

Over three-fourths of the population should have been hospitalized in the same rules applied!

Back to our little, old lady, this is not intended as a pun or disparagement.

“She testified that she had become extremely upset in the grocery store before repeatedly stabbing the man in front of her in the checkout line.”

The hearing officer asked if she had been hearing voices at the time she stabbed the man. ‘Yes’, she replied, she had.

‘What were the voices telling you’ he inquired.

“She explained that the voices were telling her not to hurt the man, but he had gotten in the express checkout lane with more than 10 items, and that made her so mad that she couldn’t stop herself.”

This tale sounds a warning I think.

One that the NRA chose to ignore.

As we have seen so far in 2018

https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/mass-shootings-in-2018/ according to

the Gun Violence Archive which tracks the statistics there have been 154 mass shootings thru the deaths at the Capital Gazette.

While getting absolute confirmation of the numbers varies on the criteria used to calculate them, this massive number of deaths is not acceptable in a civil society.

This will not be a debate about guns or no guns.

The facts that are available are simply stated.

Ms. Hayes, notes that “Violence is not a product of mental illness; violence is a product of anger”.

http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/medical_examiner/2014/04/anger_causes_violence_treat_it_rather_than_mental_illness_to_stop_mass_murder.html

Some mass shootings occurred become some people had emotional problems.

It has become fashionable, i.e. The NRA, to blame mental illness for violent crimes.

“Violence is not a product of mental illness.”

“Nor is violence generally the action of ordinary, stable individuals who suddenly “Break” and commit crimes of passion.”

“Violent crimes are committed by violent people, who do not have the skills to manage their anger.”

Most homicides are committed by people with a history of violence.

Murderers are rarely ordinary, law-abiding citizens, and they are also rarely mentally ill.

“Violence is a product of compromised anger management skills.”

Image by Joshua Newton 149634158 unsplash

I thought I would throw this out there and let you follow the link to add to your insight in the conversation taking place.

Thanks for stopping.

Craig

Google Images dual blue roses

MASS SHOOTINGS in America aka Why Men Keep Doing This

I originally posted this to my blog on February 17, 2018

August 18, 2018

2457 Words 10 minute 5 second read

Last night while I was writing a post to give another perspective, I looked back, and this post had blown away to some unknown realm.

I struggled for quite a while to find it again. I am not sure where I did I was getting pretty frantic by that time.

It is an excellent article and since I don’t want it to disappear again, I will type this piece in its entirety.

I hope Mr. Charlie Hoehn doesn’t mind.

I will type in his style, not mine (which will be an improvement I assure you).

He posted this article on October 3, 2017.

HIS WORDS

I’ll never forget April 20th, 1999.

I was 12 years old, sitting in art class in middle school. We were playing with clay and making sculptures.

Suddenly, our principal came on over the PA. Her voice trembled.

“I have an important announcement to make. All teachers and students need to hear this. I will wait 60 seconds for everyone to be completely silent.”

The next minute was eerie. My friends and I exchanged confused looks and nervously laughed. Our teach held her finger to her lips. Silence.

The principal’s voice came back onto the PA:

“There is a shooting at Columbine high school. All students are to go home immediately.”

Columbine was 15 minutes away from us.

I remember taking the bus home and walking into my house. My mom turned on the news. I recognized that fence. We’ve driven by that fence.

My mom knew the teacher. Dave Sanders. She’d substituted with him at Columbine.

In the last 18 years, we Americans have experienced too many of these shootings. And I want to share a few of my thoughts on why I think they keep happening.

By the way, this isn’t a political post about guns or the media. It’s a post about men and their emotional health.

Over the past few years, I’ve found myself in the mental health space. I’ve learned a lot. Particularly that men in the United States REALLY struggle in this realm and have very little social or emotional support. This affects men of every race and socioeconomic background.

I was watching Jimmy Kimmel’s impassioned, raw speech last night about the Vegas shootings. Like Jimmy, I felt sick and heartbroken by the tragedy. But something he said stood out to me:

“There’s probably no way to ever know why a human being could do something like this to other human beings.”

Sadly researchers know a lot about why human beings—particularly men-do things like this.

WHY MASS SHOOTINGS KEEP HAPPENING

It’s tempting to say the mass shooter’s motive was simply “pure evil”, or to blame the media or guns, but that absolves us of looking deeply at what each of us -as individuals, family members, friends, and community members might be missing.

Now, I’m not a psychiatrist. And I don’t know much about the Vegas shooter, I’m just a guy who studies mental health.

Again, this is not a political post about guns, for the same reason, it’s not a political post about weaponized cars. Easy access to guns is a part of the problem, but I’m not interested in the tool as I am in what causes a man to use it so destructively.

Nor is this a post in defense of the shooter, or to make him sound like a victim in any way. What he did was a horrific act. He is a murderer, and he is not excused from this by any stretch (though I truly feel sympathy for the shooter’s brother, who seemed to be totally caught off guard by this behavior, and now he has to deal with the aftermath for the rest of his life).

The goal of this post is simply to shine a light on what’s eroding men’s emotional health.

1 MEN IN THE UNITED STATES ARE CHRONICALLY LONELY

Boys in the United States-just like all human beings-need touch, caring, warmth, empathy, and close relationships. But as we grow up most of us lose those essential components of our humanity.

What’s worse: we have no idea how to ask for those things or admit we need them, because we’re afraid it will make us look weak.

As a man, you might be thinking, “Not me, I’ve got drinking buddies. I play poker with the guys. I’ve got friends.”

But do you have confidants? Do you have male friends who you can actually be vulnerable with? Do you have friends whom you can confide in, by 100% yourself around, that you can hug without saying “No home,” be without feeling tense or uncomfortable while you’re doing it?

For many men, the answer is “no”. So, we spend our time posturing instead.

From an early age, we have an unhealthy, ideal of masculinity that we try to live up to. Part of the ideal tells us the REAL MEN DO EVERYTHING ON THEIR OWN. REAL MEN DON’T CRY. REAL MEN EXPRESS ANGER TROUGH VIOLENCE.

The byproduct is isolation. Most men spend most of their adult lives without deeper friendships or any real sense of community. Not to mention a complete inability to release anger or sadness in a healthy way.

There is a fantastic documentary called “The Mask You Live in”, which explains how boys in our society are ultimately shaped into mentally unstable adults. My friend Ryan recommend this film to me, after confiding that he cried throughout the entire thing. I cried, as well.

Simon Sinek echoed similar insights on Glenn Beck’s show:

“We’re seeing a rise of loneliness and isolation. NO one kills themselves when they’re hungry; we kill ourselves when we’re lonely. And we act out as well.

In the 1960s, there was one school shooting.

In the 1980s there were 27.

In the 1990s there were 58.

In the past decade, there have been over 120.

IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH GUNS, IT HAS TO DO WITH PEOPLE FEELING LONELY.

How we combat the loneliness that kids are feeling? All of them attacked people in their own community, and all of them attack people they blamed for their own loneliness.”

This loneliness compounds as men grow older.

Without deeper friendships or a strong sense of community, the isolation is soul-deadening and maddening. You are alone.

Any slight from someone you care about can feel emotionally traumatizing. After enough rejections and feeling like an outcast, you begin to believe that people are just cruel and not worth the effort. You perceive people as threats.

And the effects on our health are devastating. Here is Dr. Dean Ornish, the founder of the Preventive Medicine Research Institute, on the effects of loneliness:

“I am not aware of any other factor- not diet, not smoking, not exercise, not stress, not genetics, not drugs, not surgery- that has a greater impact on our incidence of illness, and [chance of] premature death”.

Before we ask, “How could he do such a thing?” we have to understand how that person felt on a daily basis, and how those feelings grew over the years.

2 MEN IN THE UNITED STATES ARE DEPRIVED OF PLAY OPPORTUNITIES.

You might be offended by this suggestion.

How could this guy talk about play after a shooting?!” Play is for kids!

Wrong.

Homo sapiens play more than any other species. It’s impossible to prevent a human from playing. We play shortly after we are born, and the healthiest (and least stressed) humans tend to play for their entire lives.

Play may be God’s greatest gift to mankind. It’s how we form friendships, and learn skills, and master difficult things that help us survive. Play is a release valve for stress and an outlet for creativity. Play brings us music, comedy, dance, and everything we value.

Above all, play is how we bond with each other-it’s how we communicate “I am safe to be around, I am not a threat.” Play is how we form connections with other humans.

The irony is that loneliness would not be a problem if we all got ample time to play. Not only would we have deeper friendships, we’d also have better relationships with ourselves, Play allows us to enjoy our own company.

THERE IS A STRONG CORRELATION WITH PLAY DEPRIVATION AND MENTAL ILLNESS.

When you deprive mammals of play, it leads to chronic depression. When you deprived a human child of play, their mental and emotional health deteriorated. Play suppression has enormous health consequences.

“But the Vegas shooter loved to gamble. He went on cruises!”

That’s not the type of play I’m talking about.

To better understand this dynamic, we need to look at the background of another mass shooter.

In 1966, Charles Whitman shot his wife and mother. The, he climbed up the tower at the University of Texas in Austin and shot 46 people. In total, he murdered 16 people. At the time, this was the biggest mass shooting of its kind in United States history.

Dr. Stuart Brown and his team of researchers were commissioned to find out what “The Texas Sniper” had in common with other mass murderers.

They gained a key insight when they examined their childhoods.

Brown recalls:

“None of them engaged in healthy rough-and-tumble play. The linkages that lead to Charles Whitman producing this crime was an unbelievable suppression of play behavior throughout his life by a very overbearing, very disturbed father.

Healthy and joyful play must be had in order to thrive. Boys need to wrestle with their dads, and they need to roughhouse with other boys. Parent and teacher need to play with their boys.

But more importantly, they need to encourage those boys to go out and play. And then, let them be.

IT’S 10 O’clock. DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOUR KIDS ARE?”

Ever since that famous ad aired, parents have shamed each other into watching their kids like a hawk.

If you let your kid walk up the street alone, you’ll either get a call from another parent, or the cops will pick them up. Our kids are stripped of their right to experience life on their own terms.

In an effort to improve our kids’ test and beef up their future resumes, we’ve stripped away nearly all of their free play opportunities. Recess has been sacrificed in the name of Scantrons, and pills are prescribed to the kids whose bodies and minds cry out for play.

The result: A generation of the most anxious, depressed, and suicidal American children on record.

This alignment with Dr. Peter Gray’s research, who studied the epidemics of mental illness and the decline in play:

“Over the past half century, in the United States and other developed nations, childrens’ free play with other children has declined sharply. Over the same period, anxiety, depression, suicide, feelings of helplessness, and narcissism have increased sharply in children, adolescents, and your adults…The decline in play has contributed to the rise of the psychopathology of young people.

This why I believe that mental illness may be the biggest health crisis of our lifetimes. Because those kids will grow up into isolated adults who don’t know how to play or seek out their friends when they are lonely. They have no emotional support.

They are alone.

3 MEN IN THE UNITED STATES ARE ASHAMED OF THEIR EMOTIONAL TRAUMAS.

In the most memorable chapter of “So You’ve Been Publicly Shamed”, the author describes the research of James Gilligan, a young psychiatrist at the Harvard Medical School in the 1970s.

Gilligan was invited to makes sense of the Massachusetts’s prisons and mental hospital, where she interviewed murderous inmates. He included in his notebook this heartbreaking observation:

“They would all say that they themselves had died before they started killing other people… They felt dead inside. They had no capacity for feelings. No emotional feelings, Or even physical feelings.

Universal among the violent criminals was the fact that they were keeping a secret. A central secret. And that secret was that they felt ashamed- deeply ashamed, chronically ashamed, acutely ashamed.

“I have yet to see a serious act of violence that was not provoked by the experience of feeling shamed or humiliated, disrespected and ridiculed.”

ALL OF US will face difficult times in our lives where we will experience shame, humiliation, disrespect, and ridicule.

Do you know what gets us through those hard times?

FRIENDSHIP: THE LOVE AND SUPPORT YOU GET, FROM THE PEOPLE YOU PLAY WITH.

Whatever the case, these factors about mass shooters are often true:

  1. THEY ARE DEEPLY LONELY. They have no significant friendships or meaningful relationships to rely on, and very few quality people to confide in or lean on.
  2. THEY EXPERIENCED ONGOING PLAY DEPRIVATION: Their innate ability was crippled, and they struggle to maintain a healthy emotional connection with themselves and others.
  3. THEY ARE DEEPLY ASHAMED. They experienced extreme ridicule, rejection, humiliation, or abuse.

Are there other factors at play here?

Absolutely. Mass shootings are complex, and so are people. They don’t fit perfectly into our narratives.

Do the above three factors always lead to murderous behavior:

Of course not. But over time, they shatter an individual’s emotional health. And that’s the point.

We’ve created a culture where the first two factors- loneliness and play deprivation- affect EVERYONE. And because friendship struggles to take root in this environment, we are more likely to be struck by the third factor-shame.

We cannot recover from emotional trauma without support from our friends, our community, our tribe. Without their help, we stay wounded and lost in the darkness.

Although we’re in the safest period in the history of civilization, these shootings will keep happening in America. They happen every single day. Guns are part of the problem, and so is the media. But there is a bigger problem:

WE LIVE IN A CULTURE THAT CONTINUALLY NEGLECTS EMOTIONAL HEALTH OUR BOYS AND OUR MEN.

The good news is that we-the men and boys of America- can save each other.

Reach out to someone who you think could be lonely or hurting and invite them to do something fun together. Keep inviting them. Build trust and confide in each other. Set the example by being a safe, supportive, and compassionate friend that they can be around.

If you’ve noticed their personality has drastically changed, invite them ours for several hours. Be there wit6h them. You could save their life.

CHARLIE HOEHN IS THE AUTHOR OF PLAY IT AWAY. HE HAS SPOKEN ON THE TOPIC OF MENTAL HEALTH AT THE PENTAGON, U.S. MILITARY BASES, STANFORD, AND TEDX.

You can get his books for free at CHARLIEHOEHN.COM.

Thanks for stopping.

Craig

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